you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
