so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
