Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
