Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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