I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
