i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize