Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
