No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
