He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize