It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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