we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
