I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
