i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
