He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
accomplished twins. life is a go
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
