just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.