i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
