forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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