i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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