yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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