I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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