There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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My bed smells like the plague
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
