I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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