Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
