my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
