Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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