I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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