is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
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Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
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I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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