I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize