by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
