The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
