$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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