Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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