I want to have your abortion
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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