Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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