shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
