We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
