My first STD was from a foam party
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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