You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
