In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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