Ambien. No doubt about it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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