And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
