You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
