using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
