So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize