How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
