i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
