Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
