also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
