where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I faked an abortion last night.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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