I feel like I'm in dance class right now
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
