I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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