Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize