So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
worst night to have a conscience
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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